All I really need to know about how to live, what to do, how to be and didn't learn in kindergarten, I learned from working in Extension. Wisdom does not always come just from Ricks Hall, but frequently from the volunteers and children playing in the sandpile.

These are the things I have learned:

• Play fair, carry your workload, be honest.
• Share everything--opinions, pencils, copier, secretaries, ideas, phone duty, and toilet tissue.
• Never forget Secretaries' Day, Bosses' Day, their birthdays, and Christmas, or their deadlines.
• Don't hit people or computers--be professional and learn to control your frustration; exception--hitting "D" for "delete."
• Put things back where you found them--publications, keys, equipment, paper, and especially your county Extension director's coffee mug and your secretary's files.
• Clean up your own mess; your mother is not on the Extension payroll.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody--feelings do matter.
• Count 4-H staff as volunteers on ES-237, Accomplishment Reports, and ERS.
• Don't get caught surfing on the Internet looking at pictures of Brad Pitt and Brooke Shields--naked--and don't act like you haven't looked.

Also I learned:

• Don't take things that aren't yours--being trustworthy is truly valuable.
• Memorize the 4-year Plan of Work--word-for-word.
• Drive the state car.
• Brown eggs and white eggs taste the same.
• Some chickens can never be auctioned and pigs should be in pairs.
• Flush, flush, flush those files annually and of course the mailing lists...remove Mr. Jones since he died three years ago.
• Wash your hands before you eat and after you eat at 4-H Camp.
• Success stories--just do them!!
• Everyone flunked Mindreading 101.
• PPC&E means "Please Put Consideration on Excellence."
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you; family and consumer agents say, "Absolutely not... maybe one Snackwell and a Diet Coke." EFNEP staff say, "Breastmilk is better." Agricultural agents say, "Uhm, I haven't tried that; is it good with Oreos?" Extension administration says, "Oh Lord, that's disgusting!" Secretaries say, "Personally we prefer hot chocolate." Livestock agents say, "Just give me some goat milk." Four-H staff says, "Who cares--I'll take a pina colada and some Alka Seltzer."
• It doesn't matter what program area you work in, you must know how to take and read soil samples and get rid of fire ants.
• Rank does matter, self and family sometimes do not.
• Green construction paper is always out of stock.
• The boss would never see anyone goofing off in an Extension Center if the boss would just go home early.
• To work in Extension you must be a speaker, a marketer, a writer, a magician, a typist, an educator, a programmer, a budgeter, a manager, an evaluator, a planner, a trainer, an implementer, an innovator, a chaperon, a leader, an organizer, involved in the community, creative, energetic, flexible, effective, trilingual (English, Spanish, and computers), a resource developer, a wolf, a bulldog, a student, and a team player.

I also learned:

• Graduate school is an educational process of endurance.
• Some county commissioners should be hypnotized.
• Extension can be a breeding ground for workaholism.
• If work is the center of your life, you might be unbalanced -- consult with those around you--look in the mirror.
• Interdisciplinary work makes the load lighter.
• Grin and bear and share annual conference.

And:

• You must attend in-service training to the end of time and if you don't, your county Extension director will say, "Your buttocks are mine."
• Live a balanced life--learn some and think some; write, read, and type some; and play some everyday--district and county Extension directors say, "Work some too."
• Take a nap everyday--especially in the afternoon at 4-H Camp and every fourth Monday during Administrative Briefing and several cat naps during the week of new agent orientation.
• When you go out into the world Dr. Ort says, "It doesn't matter if you are EFNEP, ag, CRD, family and consumer, administration, or 4-H, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together."

This article is online at http://www.joe.org/joe/1997august/comm1.html.

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